words are only words.

darn sunday

sometimes the extremity of my mood swings scares me like hell. here's a recount of my sunday so far:

history sickeningly repeated itself this morning, woke up bleary-eyed at 4++am attempting to mug a bit b4 trg at 7am. had a darn full breakfast, thinking that i'd need energy for later (big mistake). wasted my life away waiting for bus and travelling to go macritchie. then came yt's dreaded phone call: trg postponed to afternoon. thunder and lightning. SIAN to the max. i know my poor partner suffered the same fate too. got on our nerves really bad cos it's not the 1st time. think my neighbours probably think i sneaked out for a rendezvous, went out and returned when the sun wasnt even up. on top of that, the security guard gave me a bemused look, cos he saw me running out in my trg attire and slippers and not long later he sees me again this time dragging my saaaad self home. (sorry for taking it out on you yt, i must have sounded rather hostile. i know you're always on the receiving end of all our grumbling and cursing when sth like that crops up. real sorry capt.)

so as i was feeling like the biggest idiot on earth, i looked up and saw a rainbow, no kidding, among the dark clouds. good sign? dont know, but the pretty sight sorta lifted my spirits a little.. later i made myself a cup of coffee sorta as a 2nd breakfast and psyched myself to do some productive work. but turned on the com and surprise surprise, ended up engaging in a highly-entertaning exchange of words with the old man.

tryingtofloat says: lihui was just mentioning abt this guy who came to ask u all abt whereabts of L****** yesterday.

` YH says:HAHAHAHAH. i wanted to bring that up but sensitive topic lahh, dont know if ur heart can take it

` YH says:but apparently you're taking the news qte well

tryingtofloat says:how u expect me to react

` YH: says:considering you're USUALLY nicer to me, i shall reassure you lahh. dont worry you've got hcanoe girls team backing you up

` YH says:the guy pose no threat

tryingtofloat says:what threat

tryingtofloat says:crazy...

` YH says:c'mon...

tryingtofloat says:if some guy turns up and look for u, is ryan going to tear his hair apart obviously no. So what is there for me to react, when there is nothing to start off with

` YH says:wad makes you so sure ryan wont react so violently? he wont tear his hair apart, he'll rip the guy apart.

` YH says:haha lihui say you pretend pretend only lor. okay keep pretending (:

` YH says:we know can alr.

tryingtofloat says:

` YH says:wah cannot take it alr. i tell l****** you're a changed man. violent tendencies!!!

tryingtofloat says:why guy cannot turn up to look for her

...

that's only one part of our long contentless convo. haha only teammates can decipher wad we were crapping abt. hx really amused me with his lame emoticons and whenever i make a silly remark intentionally to drive him nuts and he doesnt know wad to say, he'd reply with this emoticon of one figure slapping another. he used it on me 4times leh! i started whining that he was being ultra-mean to me tdy, normally he'd only bully rimmel. to which the old man retorted, "cos u have been qte bad today..." wah i really miss him.

alright one minute i was grinning away at my com, the next minute i was dashing out of the house to catch the shuttle bus to khatib to buy my dad's favourite youtiao for his breakfast. it was the 2nd time the auntie at the stall saw me cos i initially wanted to buy on my way home from the wasted trip to macritchie but youtiao wasnt ready until 730am. so i explained to auntie why i returned and she was commenting in chinese that i was a filial daughter. thankyou, my heart felt lighter aft that. then the annoyingly long waiting & travelling time back home got me fed up again, the bus routes available are so damn incovenient such that it takes less than 5 minutes to reach home by car yet it takes me half an hr to take 2 buses to get home. nvm, best part was, i presented my dad with his youtiao, his eyes were glued to his laptop and he dismissively responded, "where did you go, i've eaten breakfast alr still buy... just put on the dining table lahh."

ohman i dont know how to describe the way my heart sank. daddy doesnt love his little girl anymore. heck, i decided to go for a run, to get an adrenalin rush. dint bother switching off the com cos i wanted to continue blogging later. so 30min later i stepped home, no longer feeling so low, and 1st thing my mum said was, "girl ah, wad were you doing on the com? i off everything for you leh."

i just stared at her blankly.

"why, anything important?"

i was so afraid the minute i opened my mouth i'd start bawling.

i shook my head meekly, "it's alright. nevermind."

am utterly defeated. gaaawwd. that was the madness of everything. then ryan called, coaxing me to pour out why i was so upset. hearing his concerned voice, sighhh, the tears uncontrollably came.

shucks lahh, the 3letter acronym starting with the alphabet P is damn powerful.

and until now it isnt even pouring at yishun. we could have finished paddling... =(

i shall conclude this entry on a positive note. got to spend some decent quality time with ryan this week, many lunch dates, study dates and watched ocean's thirteen too. george clooney and brad pitt looked qte gd. (:

okay rc looks better :D

HAPPY FOURTEEN MONTHS!

die lahh i'm turning psychotic. just look at my contrasting smileys. help, somebody save me.

posted by YH @ 7:48 AM